update

so i've been spending the last several days praying, pondering, sometimes, just kind of going but not thinking (know what i mean?)

we received some news earlier this week that i'm still processing.  i'd really like to go hide somewhere for the next several months - preferably where i will know no one, somewhere on a nice secluded beach, somewhere other than here... makes me think of "no man is an island" bit... but alas, that's not the life we live and i don't think it's the life God intends. i've been pondering this idea of what it means to live victoriously and powerfully in the kindgom of God. no, it's not some crazy off the deep end weirdo christianese... it's the idea that God said that He who is in me is bigger than what's in the world; it's the promise that God says, I will never leave  you or forsake you... so if God - Almighty, Powerful, Reigns over all - God is inside of me and He promises me that He came to give me life, than shouldn't my life be characterized by His promises?

there are days i wake up in the morning and i feel like i've got a serious hang out (it could be the carbs - i'm still figuring it out), but it's definitely not alcohol cause i definitely didn't have any - unless you count using rubbing alcohol to wipe my earrings.   and there's a lie that satan whispers in my ear. "i don't want to..... " and then the "if onlys" kick in... and i have a choice - i can agree and be miserable - which i admit i do quite often sometimes, or i can discern what God is saying versus what Satan is saying. You know, satan's been lying to us since the beginning of time.. and it's the same ol' lie. "Did God really say.... "

so, i'm still meditating on what God's words say but i have to admit it's been a wrestling match of the heavenlies.

on a lighter note, i really think i'm seeing the effects of carbs in my diet. we didn't do a lot of carbs for a while and just last week i re-introduced rice into our everyday eating and i feel awful. in fact, i think it's causing me to run a 45 second slower pace during my runs.  but oh man! does it taste so good going down.  so the question is, is it worth it?

on a brighter and more worthy note, our jewel reminded me today of 1 peter 5:7 - cast all your anxieties upon Him because He cares for you.

protein cookies recipe

i made a recipe for protein cookies a while back and they were really good. unfortunately, i didn't save it. i thought it did, but i didn't... one of those memory backouts perhaps.

anyways, i made my own based on variations i've seen on the internet. i really liked how it turned out and i think it's a keeper:

1 mashed banana (ripe)
1 1/2C quick oats
1C nut butter (i made mine w/ a combo of honey roasted peanuts, almonds, and flax seed)
1 tsp BS
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp almond extract
1 egg
1/4C cranberries - dried
1/4 coconut flakes
1/2C chocolate chips

mix all together except for the chocolate chips. add chips at the end after everything else is mixed well.
then spoon them onto your cookie sheet and bake in pre-heated oven at 350 for about 12-14 minutes. I think i did mine for 15 min and the bottom was slightly browner than i would have liked. 

they had a really good cookie texture. dense but not heavy like wheat flour cookies.