a closed door

i turned in my resignation letter earlier this week.
looking back over the last 1 1/2 years, i'm thankful for the opportunity that God gave me for two reasons:

1. i always wondered during my time at home w/ our jewel about audit. what if i had stayed in the profession? what if i hadn't quit and stayed at home to be a mom. what if... what if... what if. well, coming back has confirmed for me those suspicions that i knew all along, but wanted to know for sure.
God confirmed that i've changed. not just in my personality, but also in my career goals and strengths. God confirmed that audit isn't where He wants me anymore. God confirmed that He has other plans for me. not sure what yet.. but something else.

2. having my man work full time and in law school the last 4 years has really been tough. good, but hard. he generally got home around 11 and when he got home, he'd try to put in a couple of hours of studying before he went to bed. on the weekends, it was more studying. we didn't really have date night and we caught up on the phone during his drive home. often we'd catch up for 15 minutes or so when he got home before he started his studying. while i'm so proud of his accomplishments and his brain capacity, truth be told, i was lonely for companionship. in the first two years of his law program, towards the end of each semester, i would get really moody, possessive of my man and his time. i could tell that i was running on emotional empty in our marriage and i needed a deposit. the problem was, he had another month or so before the semester was over and he could make any deposits of time into our relationship. while it's nice to have your gal pals - let me tell you - at the end of the day, all the human relationships in the world can't replace the one with your man. God knew i was lonely, so he gave me a job. not just any job. a job that required work in the evenings and weekends. it took my mind off of my man all those nights i waited for him to come home.

now that my man's law school is winding down to the last few weeks, God helped me to see that the job He allowed me to have was temporary. He's got something else in store for me and this was just a nice little in-between thing to teach me, grow me, and use me.

it's nice to look back on things and see God's hand in things. too bad it's always after it's over and not during.... wouldn't it make things so much easier for us to swallow, God?

i'm procrastinating

yesterday i checked something on my work computer to find that all the work that i did on thursday - GONE! huh?!
it's sunday evening i should go back and work on it, but i really really really don't want to. :( boo hoo.

Rough day at work

Yesterday stunk!
I contemplated quiting, I vented, I went into quiet mode, I went the whole gamet in feelings. stress does that. i anxiously waited all day until my man got home and then i busted out of there to go for a run w/ a friend. it felt so great. unfortunately we both had rotten days so our running was painful! it was a really really fast 3 miles. but afterwards, oh, the stress was so gone. i got into the car, switched stations and the first thing i hear is: everyone make mistakes. some are deadly. aren't you glad yours isn't? ok, simplistic and probably not the best word choice, but it's what i needed to hear at the moment and so "thanks, God".

Thanks God for giving me some perspective, even when I didn't really want it and instead I wanted to "sin in my anger".
Thanks for reminding me of what I want to be and what You've called me to be and not to revert to "what we were".
Thanks God for your patience and mercy towards us.

i'm one of THOSE...

as i sit here researching a new accounting software we're rolling in at work... i stumble on accounting blogs. man, i'm a geek! LOL

perhaps my man will enjoy some of them too :) ha ha ha
http://accounting.smartpros.com/x49035.xml

back to work!

first day of work yesterday. standard orientation stuff. feeling a lot better about it though then i was last week. i'm getting good vibes about it. :) thanks for praying!