taking a step of faith

lately, my man and i have been getting into jaime winship's sermons.  you can find some of them here.
he was a missionary to indonesia and jordan. he has a heart for muslims.  he's got a very engaging way of speaking but really, i like him because he gets you to look at Christ in a refreshing new way. 

my man and i have both been convicted about stepping out in faith more; realizing that we're really not living in faith but living within our means. for example, it's easy to pray that God would answer something that you're really capable of doing yourself - ie. buy a car. but it takes faith to ask God to provide a car in a way only He can. 

since my man's accident several weeks ago, we've been praying, and researching.  we thought that we knew what we were going to do.  we had figured out how much we were going to put down on the down payment. we had started applications for an auto loan to refinance the difference, blah, blah, blah... the usual route.  but in the mist of that, we heard God's quite voice. "test me. see if i don't answer." we thought of judges 6 where Gideon tested God and He met Gideon.  we thought about how we've been diligently following a budget and striving to be obedient in the area of stewardship of our resources and it just didn't seem right that God would want us to take out a loan now.  so we take our step of faith, eagerly anticipating God's response to our need for a car.  we believe He is our provider. and so in faith, i write this post, declaring that we choose to trust Him rather than our balance sheet.

it's exciting to watch and wait on Him.

giving thanks

during my run this morning, i thought about the importance of words. words are powerful stuff. they can move you to a feeling. in theater, it's called catharsis. in everyday life, it usually sounds like whining or complaining. at least, that's what i seem to be hearing a lot in the news these days. it's interesting the impact it has on others. it's like that saying, "misery loves company". but there's also saying that says "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver". (pr. 25:11). and it made me think about how often we seem to say words based on what we see, rather than what we know. for example, you're having a rough day. the kids aren't behaving, the drivers on the road seem to be meaner than usual... and before you know it, it's "man! what's up with XXXX?" or "glory! what is your problem?!" or "why isn't stuff going my way?" it's our initial reaction. but what i want to say is what i know... i know that God is good. i know that the Bible is true. I know that while things aren't going the way i had planned, that Jesus loves me. so in the face of life's difficulties, i want to say what i know, not what i feel. this isn't about the power of positive thinking as tooted by the mass media. it's not about trying to change your circumstances by changing how you think. it's about speaking God's truth and letting our hearts follow suit so that we think, act, feel, and speak in accordance with what we believe.

in light of that, i started my thanksgiving list today.

i give thanks to God for:
1. new running shoes, where the cushion feels like running on clouds
2. great 70 degree weather with no humidity
3. my man who took our jewel with him to run an errand so i could go for a nice run
4. my GPS watch that has become my security blanket when i run.

i realize here there's a pattern to my thanks, but the list was made while i was running... hence the theme of running :)

the beauty of an early run

i met a friend to run at 5am this morning.

in the quiet darkness of our early morning run, God in all His glory embraced a petite little ol' me. i looked up towards the heavenly stars and was reminded of His vastness and His control over all the universe... and to think that hundreds of years ago the great men of old looked into the these very stars and also reflected on His marvelous creation:

1. Job 9:9
He is the Maker of the Bear and Orion, the Pleiades and the constellations of the south.

2. Job 38:31
"Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades? Can you loose the cords of Orion?

3. Amos 5:8
(he who made the Pleiades and Orion, who turns blackness into dawn and darkens day into night, who calls for the waters of the sea and pours them out over the face of the land— the LORD is his name-

what have i to fear when my God is HE that controls all?

ever get a song stuck in your head?

i've got two lines that i keep singing over and over again. Chris Tomlin's Our God is greater.

it's been helping me to keep perspective as i go about my day and yet i need to learn the rest of the song because i think my man is tired of hearing those same things come out of my mouth :)

Glad God doesn't mind repeition :)

comforting thoughts

my mentor said something a while ago that i've been thinking about a lot.
she was a missionary in france for 18 years so i think that she's got a leg up on struggles and working through them.

she said, "if i knew all that God was going to allow/ do, i would have jumped off the first bridge i found. but having gone through it all, i wouldn't change it for anything". i find it so comforting that God doesn't allow more than you can handle and sometimes we can handle more than we think we can if we put our trust in Him.

as a post script. i've been thinking/ praying a lot about thankfulness and about responding to the difficult situations w/ gratitude. and what d'ya know? yesterday was definitely a day with difficult situations. after a few challenging conversations on the phone with various people, i get a call from my sis to come and watch my nephew because she was going into labor. so i dropped everything and went to be with my nephew who did not like being away from his mama. this too was a lesson for me. looking into my nephew's tear stained face and trying to console an inconsolable toddler reminded me that sometimes God is trying to comfort us and encourage us through His Word but we're so busy crying that we can't hear anything else. My poor nephew wasn't about reason, he was all about his immediate pain. it reminded me that sometimes i have to just breathe and in that breathing time, let God speak into the pain of my heart rather than cry hysterically. (but i have to admit crying hysterically sometimes will get you a cookie) :)

thankfulness part 2

i just wanted to say that since our discussion yesterday i've been so thankful for the spirtual mentors in my life. can you believe that since 19, there has been a strong mentor in my life investing in me? i mean weekly heart to hearts, deep conversations, prayers, correction, encouragement for all those years. wow! that just blows me away. it seems even more stark since we've moved up here where the christians i've met are for the most part from nonchristian homes and are still struggling with families that think they've gone off the deep end. what a blessing to be surrounded by believers.

so thanks ms. m, ms. c, and ms. j. your crowns await you in heaven!

perspective

have some things weighing on my heart...


'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
Louisa M. R. Stead

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His word;
Just to rest up on His promise;
Just to know "Thus saith the Lord."

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
Just in simple faith to plunge me,
Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest and joy and peace.

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

I'm so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

forgetfulness and Thanksgiving

the sermon this morning was about God reminding the Isrealites not to forget what God has done for them and to be thankful for His blessings. As a reminder, they were to put a jar of manna in the ark.

this has been my man's mantra for as long as we've been married.

i'd want something. whine. pray. cry. pout. and my man would gently remind me to NOT forget the blessings of our past.

so with that, i want to put into my jar, manna that God has given us (in chronological order):
1. a place of our own when we first got married - 2002
2. a great job for my man after a year of eager waiting - 2004
3. our jewel - 2004
4. an answer to prayer regarding law school - 2004
5. a larger place of our own - 2005
6. an answer to prayer regarding my job - 2007

Lord, this day... help me not to forget the manna YOU have provided.
AMEN

Trusting in God's soverignty

in the mist of some personal longings, God is teaching me to be content in all circumstances. to trust that God is soverign and He deeply cares for our needs.

focusing on the circumstances gets tiring. frustrating. and disparaging.
looking to Jesus to be my hope and firm foundation.

had a good cry in my man's arms last night. it's comforting to be on the same team and look to Jesus together. Jesus, thank you for giving me someone who loves You. who desires to put You first. who longs to see you glorified above all else and is bold enough to lead his family to that end.

i was thinking about this today as i pondered so many broken marriages and hearts out there who can't look to their spouses to give them the support and encouragement they need. how hard it would be to shoulder a burden alone.