This too shall pass

 In one of the last interviews Charlie Kirk has, he's asked to share 2 quotes he lives by.

The 1st is "This too shall pass" 

Amen to this. While the moment is hard - this too shall pass. 

"But one day, when Jesus arrives, we will see clearly, face-to-face. In that day, I will fully know just as I have been wholly known by God." I Cor 13:12. 

Thank you Jesus. Come quickly.

Babe(s)

 Sometimes, I'll do a search on our texts for 'babes' just to reread our exchanges. It was one of the rare terms of dearment we used. Andy to me mostly.

The last one was on December 11th, "Sorry I missed you this morning babes. Looks like you headed out early. Are you feeling ok? or are you starting to feel sick too?" 

98  in case you're wondering. 

DO NOT SAY...

 I've said this but it's worth repeating... 

DO NOT tell me "you know how I feel". That is the one line that will shut down any conversation. If you plan to incorporate that into any part of your converesation, turn around and go home. 

If you don't, I will.

Sometimes it's the routine days that are the hardest

Fencing tournaments are just part of our family lifestyle. Particularly in the fall. Sometimes, Andy and I would tagteam so one person didn't have to travel and miss so much work. If we could, we'd make it a family affair. These are the moments when we put our 'busy lives on hold' to support our child(ren). Tournaments required travel so it took us out of our element and the day(s) really was driven by the child's performance. If the child was doing well, it was a very long day. If not, well, then pulled pork and ice cream came a whole lot faster. 

Tournaments for me these days are hard for three reasons. 

Reason 1 - 

Even though we were at the tournament for the child(ren), I secretly loved it because it would afford us a much coveted date while we waited for tableaus to come out. (Tableaus are the direct elimination bracket set up and based on the pool results).... not important. What is relevant here is that it was typically 1 to 1.5 hrs of wait time in between. And this is the time we used "to sneak away". (not really because we told our kid where we're going - we're not psychos!) Sometimes there would be a local roastery that Andy wanted to check out. Other times we'd sneak in a quick happy hour in the nearby hotel restaurant. But always it was a shared moment with my most favorite person in the whole world and that brought me so much immense joy. 

Poor Andy!! Because often I'd come with my worries about how our child was doing or how their future was projecting to look or some family budget i wanted to run through while I had access to him. Andy, well, Andy was Andy. He just wanted to be present and enjoy the moment. Blessed Andy!! What a rare gift that is in today's world. He wanted to savor the moment and enjoy not having to be two beings passing each other in the hallway. He wanted to connect and savor this prize moment. I will forever cherish his desire and intention to prioritize being present. 

Reason 2 - 

There's another reason that these tournaments are hard. See, everywhere he went, he caught people's attention. Often he was 'hey, the wheelchair guy!' But with that came oh so-many-invitations to... para fencing. Bet you didn't even know it was a thing, huh? Google it! It's a thing!!

Well, Andy would always have a tale, which he was so eloquent at sharing, about the latest invitation to para fencing. It was the family inside joke... how many people who invite him this time? Would dad ever say yes? 

Reason 3 - 

This is probably the hardest for me... Andy loved to watch his kids perform. It didn't matter what sport, what instrument. All that mattered was that it was his kid and that made him the proudest parent to watch, observe, and study his child. Not in a - let me find out how to make him better, but more in a - God gave me this most precious gift so I want to know my child better beause I want to love him/her better. This emotion that I observed play out each time - this is what I miss the most. Andy knew how to do this so well. I admire this about Andy.